http://hollywoodlampoon.com Making Fun Of Celebrities Is My Specialty Mon, 03 Mar 2008 05:28:11 +0000 http://backend.userland.com/rss092 en Rosie is water-skiing in a cove near her mother's house in the afterlife realm. She is being pulled by an energy ball that's skimming along the surface of the water at breakneck speed. Rosie is having a blast, screaming and laughing as she is dragged along surface of the water. ... http://hollywoodlampoon.com/?p=86 The white light in the middle of the stage intensifies and begins to take the shape of a humanoid form. The light is incredibly bright but it does not hurt one's eyes to look directly at it. The mass of energy condenses into a woman in a simple flowy white ... http://hollywoodlampoon.com/?p=84 Rosie is flying high and fast through miles and miles of gorgeous green countryside in the afterlife and scouring the surface for any signs of people, buildings, and most of all, her mother. She appears to be flying in "auto-pilot" mode, after having given a directive to unseen forces to ... http://hollywoodlampoon.com/?p=82 With everyone surrounding her, some standing over her, Rosie O'Donnell sits up. Rosie: Oh god, that was a doozie..hehe. That was quite a fall huh? Good thing I have a lot of padding. Rosie slaps her buttocks. She sees everyone crying. Rosie: Hey...what are you guys crying about? I'm all right! Rosie stands up. Rosie: ... http://hollywoodlampoon.com/?p=80 Paris Hilton is riding inside the Hummer, along with Donald Trump and Barbara Walters. There is a partition inside the vehicle that separates the driver from the passengers. Paris looks at Donald Trump dumbfounded. Another black Hummer trails them as security. They are traveling on a deserted two-lane highway ... http://hollywoodlampoon.com/?p=78 Officer Russo and Officer Blitski escort Oprah and Gayle into the assembly hall of the "Christian Love Rehabilitation Center." A banner is hung over the proscenium, displaying the name of the center. A placard that reads, "Special guest speaker - Ted Haggard. Topic - How God Gave Me A Second ... http://hollywoodlampoon.com/?p=75 Kathy Griffin is driving the car carrying Joy Behar, Rosie O'Donnell, and Paris Hilton. Paris has donned a dark wig and a pair of sunglasses, and she is virtually unrecognizable. Rosie, in contrast, is sporting on a blonde wig to conceal her identity. Following Kathy's lead is Janette, driving a ... http://hollywoodlampoon.com/?p=73 It's early evening and the motorbike carrying Rosie pulls into the garage of a private house in a East Los Angeles suburb. Rosie jumps off and moves towards the garage door. Rosie: Thanks for the lift - it's been swell. Hehe...I have to say it's the first time that I have ... http://hollywoodlampoon.com/?p=70 Paris Hilton, Rosie O'Donnell, the television crew, the inmates, and the prison guards all run for cover. Two black Apache helicopter approach the common room of Century Regional Detention Center. A missle is launched from one of the helicopters and strikes the wall of the common room. The ensuing explosion ... http://hollywoodlampoon.com/?p=69 Producer: Rosie, the network wants to go to commercial first! Rosie: Tell those damn suits to hold it! Paris: All right ladies, let's do it! Paris rips off her prison uniform, shirt and pants, revealing her sexy black dress underneath. A group of women take their positions on the floor and Paris moves ... http://hollywoodlampoon.com/?p=66 In preparation for the imminent live broadcast interview with Paris Hilton, Rosie's camera crew have set up chairs, cameras, and lights in a large common room of the Century Regional Detention Facility in Lynwood, Ca. Paris is already seated in her interview chair, wearing her prison uniform - a pair ... http://hollywoodlampoon.com/?p=55 The women of 'The View', Barbara Walters, Rosie O'Donnell, Joy Behar, and Elisabeth Hasselbeck, are gathered in Barbara's office for their regular 'post-mortem' meeting to discuss what transpired on the show. Barbara is seated behind her desk and the three other women are seated on the other side of it ... http://hollywoodlampoon.com/?p=48 Rosie walks into the large visitors hall at the Century Regional Facility in Lynwood, Ca. The room is filled with small tables arranged in a grid pattern. Visiting relatives and friends are seated opposite prison inmates and are quietly chatting. Some are holding hands with friends and relatives; some are ... http://hollywoodlampoon.com/?p=45 Alec looks into her eyes. Alec: All right, all right. I'll do it. He unbuckles his belt and unzips his pants, letting it fall to his ankles. He begins to remove his underwear. Kathy: Uh...(she smiles and looks him up and down)...no. Tempting...but no. Embarrassed, Alec pulls his pants back up and fastens it. Kathy: ... http://hollywoodlampoon.com/?p=43   Kathy: I've used my cell phone in this friggin' elevator before! Alec (trying to make conversation to distract himself): When do you ever come here? Kathy: Uh...I have my own show on Bravo??? Hello???...which is owned by this stupid network. Kathy moves around the confined space of the elevator, trying to get a ... http://hollywoodlampoon.com/?p=38 Alec Baldwin is riding down on an elevator in the NBC 30 Rockefeller Center building. Just moments earlier, he had stormed out of a meeting with NBC executives over his contract. The elevator stops on an upper-floor and Kathy Griffin walks in. She immediately recognizes Alec. The elevator door ... http://hollywoodlampoon.com/?p=34 Rosie: All right (looking down at her 'hot topics' cards), let's see what's going on...ummmm...(she quickly switches the cards)...uuuuhh....(reading down the list of topics, she switches the cards again)...nailgun injuries...thousands of people injured each year from nailguns. What do you think? Joy: What??? Wait a minute... Elisabeth: That's the first hot topic ... http://hollywoodlampoon.com/?p=30 'The View' goes to commercial and Rosie is still standing, staring at her mother-in-law Melanie in disbelief. Rosie: Maaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa! What are you doing here??!! Melanie: Don't act too surprised or you'll offend my Southern sensibilities. Rosie: Well, Ma, I... Rosie takes her seat. Melanie: Ah'm not feelin' the hospitality Rosie! Rosie: ...I love to have you ... http://hollywoodlampoon.com/?p=20   'The View' begins and the three regular co-hosts, Rosie, Joy, and Elisabeth, walk onto the set, waving at the crowd. Rosie halts and does her usual 'feigned surprise' routine and Joy walks into her, obviously a bit annoyed with that fake ritual. The ladies take their usual seats, leaving one ... http://hollywoodlampoon.com/?p=18 Brad is plunked down on the couch, exhausted from an entire day spent taking care of the kids. Angelina walks into the room, holding official papers. Angelina: Hi baby. Brad opens his eyes and observes her as she walks to the desk to file the papers. Brad: Where've you been??!! Angelina: You know where ... http://hollywoodlampoon.com/?p=11   Oprah and Gayle are driving across the continental United States, with Gayle at the wheel for this stretch of the trip. Exercising her perogative to control the radio because she is at the wheel, Gayle is blasting music on the radio and singing loudly, unabashedly and completely out-of-tune. Having had ... http://hollywoodlampoon.com/?p=7 Dear Britney,Oh my god, what have you become? What has happened to the beautiful, sweet young chit of a girl that I used to know and love? Why do you look like an angry lesbian on steroids- and testosterone-overdose? And whatever possessed you to marry Jason and Kfed???!!! That was ... http://hollywoodlampoon.com/?p=5 Welcome to WordPress. This is your first post. Edit or delete it, then start blogging! http://hollywoodlampoon.com/?p=1